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Amy Olberding
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The Wrong of Rudeness: Learning Modern Civility from Ancient Chinese Philosophy Kindle Edition

by Amy Olberding (Author) Format: Kindle Edition
4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 13 ratings
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In a time of fractious politics, being rude can feel wickedly gratifying, while being polite can feel simple-minded or willfully na?ve. Do manners and civility even matter now? Is it worthwhile to make the effort to be polite? When rudeness has become routine and commonplace, why bother? When so much of public and social life with others is painful and bitterly acrimonious, why should anyone be polite?

As Amy Olberding argues, civility and ordinary politeness are linked both to big values, such as respect and consideration, and to the fundamentally social nature of human beings. Being polite is not just a nicety--it has deep meaning. Olberding explores the often overwhelming temptations to incivility and rudeness, and the ways that they must and can be resisted. Drawing on the wisdom of early Chinese philosophers who lived through great political turmoil but nonetheless avidly sought to "mind their manners," the book articulates a way of thinking about politeness that is distinctively social. We can feel profoundly alienated from others, and others can sometimes be truly terrible, yet, as the Confucian philosophers encourage us to see, because we are social, neglecting the social and political courtesies comes at perilous cost.

The book considers not simply why civility and politeness are important, but how. It reveals how small insults can accumulate to damage social relations, how separating people into tribes undermines our better interests, and how even bodily and facial expressions can influence our lives with others. Many of us, in spite of our best efforts, are often tempted to be rude, and will find here tools for fighting that temptation.
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  1. ISBN-13
    978-0190880965
  2. Sticky notes
    On Kindle Scribe
  3. Publisher
    Oxford University Press
  4. Publication date
    July 1, 2019
  5. Language
    English
  6. File size
    816 KB
  7. See all details
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Editorial Reviews

Review

"...I found the book a most enjoyable read and would recommend it to readers who want to learn about Confucianism and the Confucian fascination with manners. The book is also a must to those who are ― like myself ― intrigued about the human motivation to be civil and rude." -- Dániel Z. Kádár, Dalian University of Foreign Languages, China Review International

"this is clearly a book for the times. It challenges the reader to reflect more carefully on the costs of tribalism and incivility, at a time when reasonable people are increasingly tempted by them. This richly imaginative exercise in renewing civic life deserves the widest possible audience." -- Andrew Lambert, Notre Dame Philosophical Reviews

The book is deeply humane, surprisingly inspiring, and sprinkled with a gentle humor, all of which make for delightfully edifying reading. Olberding doesn't dazzle with lofty ideals, although there are lofty ideals of humanity and sociability that guide the book. Instead, drawing on everyday experiences, she patiently reveals the deep attractions of doing the hard work to cultivate civil and mannerly habits, of following seemingly trivial rules of etiquette, and of resisting the temptations to rudeness or indifference that beset our rattier selves. This is a beautiful book about the importance of our shared struggle to sustain human connection." -- Cheshire Calhoun, Trustee Professor of Philosophy, Arizona State University, and author of Moral Aims: Essays on the Importance of Getting it Right and Practicing Morality with Others

"In this deeply personal book, philosopher Amy Olberding brilliantly shows how ancient Confucians can help us to grasp the centrality of manners and civility to good lives today. The Wrongness of Rudeness has important lessons for anyone who has ever struggled to be polite -- or wondered whether it's worth the bother." -- Stephen C. Angle, Mansfield Freeman Professor of East Asian Studies, Wesleyan University

About the Author

Amy Olberding is Presidential Professor of Philosophy at the University of Oklahoma. Her work focuses on early Chinese ethics. She is the author of Moral Exemplars in the Analects (Routledge, 2011), several academic journal articles, and she has also published work with Aeon, The Forum, and The Chronicle of Higher Education. When not studying and teaching philosophy, she farms.

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B07T3FC5DW
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Oxford University Press (July 1, 2019)
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ July 1, 2019
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 816 KB
  • Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Sticky notes ‏ : ‎ On Kindle Scribe
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 197 pages
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 13 ratings

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Amy Olberding

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Customer reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars
4.7 out of 5
13 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

Ed Codish
5.0 out of 5 stars Why Xunzi instead of or in addition to Mencius?
Reviewed in the United States on November 18, 2021
Verified Purchase
Professor Olberding's call for "li" could not be more timely. The utter lack of manners to the point of Congresspeople threatening each other physically leaves too little space for governance and encourages similar behavior in society. I can't imagine a book better suited to our times.

My one serious quarrel with Olberding is her choice of Xunzi as commentary on "The Analects." Xunzi assumes that people are naturally self-centered and so naturally bad. The work of being human is to analyze and improve the self, overcoming basic human nature. But Chinese scholars have preferred Mencius, who argues that people are naturally good and the task of humanity is to nourish and develop this goodness. True, the goal is the same but the process differs. And, given the splits, ruptures in US society, it can be very hard to assume that one's opponent, who seems to you not only wrong but crazy, is naturally good. "The Wrong of Rudeness" should be delivered to every politician (and scholar) and there should be an obligatory quiz on the contents after a week devoted to reading and discussion. The book could be very important.
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iPad User
5.0 out of 5 stars Good Book on the Puposes of Good Manners!
Reviewed in the United States on February 17, 2020
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This book explores timely and needed subject matter, I enjoyed reading both its academic and personal approaches—and having an introduction to the ideas of Confucius. The author does not preach, but rather considers good manners logically and persuasively. Not only do I strongly recommend it to others, I plan to share it with parents of children growing up in these days of political and media incivility!
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Ben Butina
5.0 out of 5 stars An Exceptional Book
Reviewed in the United States on July 13, 2019
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"The Wrong of Rudeness" is exceptional in two ways. First, it delivers what it promises: Olberding makes a compelling, rigorous case for civility in a world that glorifies rudeness. Second, it presents Confucian ideas in a way that is accessible and relevant to a contemporary Western readership in a way that simply hasn't been done before. Olberding has set a new standard.
4 people found this helpful
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Lanita B. Boyd
5.0 out of 5 stars A Memorable Reminder
Reviewed in the United States on October 23, 2019
In The Wrong of Rudeness, Professor Olberding did a great job of initially showing the relevance of civility by relating it to the current political climate and how we no longer show common courtesy to those who disagree with us. Her use of Confucius demonstrates that civility has been discussed for centuries and this gives added credibility; philosophers have been challenged with civility versus rudeness for a long time.

Dr. Olberding gives the topic a fresh look in a way that makes us curious to learn more and, along the way, to be more sensitive to how we treat others. The fact that being civil can sometimes lead to disappointment is real and I appreciate the fact that she stresses that being civil is not all sunshine and roses. I especially like her examples of how human acts demonstrate the principles she discusses. The Bill Bailey example is especially powerful and poignant and leaves the reader with a memorable reminder of how important civility is even in situations we may not understand.

The book is well documented and supported with current research in a readable style. This source is valuable both to the scholar and the lay person who will receive helpful and practical information. From a communication viewpoint, the material on facial expression and other nonverbal traits adds to the depth of her book. This is an excellent read and I highly recommend it.
2 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

Jane
5.0 out of 5 stars Thought-provoking
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on January 26, 2020
Vine Customer Review of Free Product( What's this? )
I will admit that I am someone who gets very annoyed at people who are rude and ill-mannered! I think the world would be so much better for everyone if we could all be polite and respectful to each other. I do find that some people feel that being polite is a sign of weakness and feel they have a right to 'tell it how it is' at all times. This book shows that such issues are nothing new and that even the ancient Chinese philosophers were just as concerned with them. This book shows that being polite and civil can absolutely make society a better place but does not mean that people can't speak out when it is needed. This book essentially reminds us of the importance of the golden rule. This book is interesting and engaging and is also reasonably short so don't be put off if this is not the sort of book you normally read.
One person found this helpful
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Things And Stuff
5.0 out of 5 stars The wrong of rudeness
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on March 12, 2020
Vine Customer Review of Free Product( What's this? )
Well researched, well written and practical in that it offers advice you can reasonably and practicably follow and it should be of some genuine help. Definitely worth a read.
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